Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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