honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
