Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
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