fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
