I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
