I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
