sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize