It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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