then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
