is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
