How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I think i got beer on your cat.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
