Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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