I love black thongs
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
