You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
You're so nebulous sometimes
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
