I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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