he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Randomize
