He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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