Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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