Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
