he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
