we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
