Swine flu. Run for my life!
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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