I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Randomize