There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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