TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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