Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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