Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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