that's an acceptable place to lick
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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