he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
