Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
