i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
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