Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
