I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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