I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize