so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I don't think brook has ever known best
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Randomize
