I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
