honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Randomize
