You're my little dorito
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
