i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
