I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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