hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
