do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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