i would punch a child for taco bell
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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