yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I love having hate sex.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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