haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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