ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
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