I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
