Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
