the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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