You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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