Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
the night ended with taco bell and tears
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Randomize
