i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
