You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
