I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize