Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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