I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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