i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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