i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
