The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Randomize
